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Today's joke...

By aemi - 14-04-2017 06:12

[Canada]

... is tomorrow's word of wisdom. Here is my collection of jokes. Q: What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box? A: Gross... is tomorrow's word of wisdom. Here is my collection of jokes.

Q: What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
A: Gross

 

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Re: Today's joke...

By evosa - 14-04-2017 08:05

[LEGEND]

what do you call a person who tries to be funny, but isn't? Aemiwhat do you call a person who tries to be funny, but isn't?

Aemi

Re: Today's joke...

By darkline - 14-04-2017 11:39

[FLUSA]
President

[img]https://pics.onsizzle.com/united-airlines-travel-pillows-united-in-an-act-of-true-18766013.png[/img]

Re: Today's joke...

By bestplaymaker2134 - 14-04-2017 12:00

[AUSNZ]

What do you call a Canadian? A Canadian.What do you call a Canadian?

A Canadian.

Re: Today's joke...

By bestplaymaker2134 - 14-04-2017 12:01

[AUSNZ]

What's worst than having a player max in 4 speed? Getting stabbed.What's worst than having a player max in 4 speed?

Getting stabbed.

Re: Today's joke...

By bestplaymaker2134 - 14-04-2017 12:03

[AUSNZ]

What is older? The bible or the Quran? Dowopado.What is older? The bible or the Quran?

Dowopado.

Re: Today's joke...

By dowopado - 14-04-2017 18:11

[BotP]

[:O]...that's a fact, not a joke!

bestplaymaker2134 wrote:

What is older? The bible or the Quran?

Dowopado.

:O...that's a fact, not a joke!

Re: Today's joke...

By bestplaymaker2134 - 15-04-2017 03:24

[AUSNZ]

Dowopado please, what killed the dinosaurs? Was it Patrick?

dowopado wrote:

...that's a fact, not a joke!

Dowopado please, what killed the dinosaurs? Was it Patrick?

Re: Today's joke...

By dowopado - 15-04-2017 04:55

[BotP]

Tooth fairy never replaced their teeth.

bestplaymaker2134 wrote:

Dowopado please, what killed the dinosaurs? Was it Patrick?

Tooth fairy never replaced their teeth.

Re: Today's joke...

By theloyalone - 15-04-2017 07:29

spot on [;)][:D]

evosa wrote:

what do you call a person who tries to be funny, but isn't?

Aemi

spot on ;):D

Re: Today's joke...

By aemi - 19-04-2017 11:36

[Canada]

What do you call two Aussies in a bush? Wasted.What do you call two Aussies in a bush?

Wasted.

Re: Today's joke...

By smiller29 - 19-04-2017 18:33

[BotP]

so far, this is the clear winner (sorry dowopado, but that was just plain funny)

bestplaymaker2134 wrote:

What is older? The bible or the Quran?

Dowopado.

so far, this is the clear winner (sorry dowopado, but that was just plain funny)

Re: Today's joke...

By aemi - 19-04-2017 21:36

[Canada]

Tine to step it up a notch: There were 10 kangaroos in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left? A: None, because they were all dumb kangus!

smiller29 wrote:

so far, this is the clear winner (sorry dowopado, but that was just plain funny)

Tine to step it up a notch:

There were 10 kangaroos in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
A: None, because they were all dumb kangus!

Re: Today's joke...

By theloyalone - 20-04-2017 14:48

this one's not bad : whenever aemi replies to a forum post of mine, my expression resembles that of the kid in aemi's profile picture.this one's not bad : whenever aemi replies to a forum post of mine, my expression resembles that of the kid in aemi's profile picture.

Re: Today's joke...

By aemi - 20-04-2017 14:54

[Canada]

If you want loyalty forget this gentleman, [b]hire[/b] a dog instead. #words of wisdom

theloyalone wrote:

this one's not bad : whenever aemi replies to a forum post of mine, my expression resembles that of the kid in aemi's profile picture.

If you want loyalty forget this gentleman, hire a dog instead.

#words of wisdom

Re: Today's joke...

By dowopado - 20-04-2017 17:43

[BotP]

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Damnnnnnnnn.What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
Damnnnnnnnn.

Re: Today's joke...

By frankzappa - 20-04-2017 18:40

[KERNOW]
President

I recently started a new business making statues of religious figures. I've yet to make a prophet.I recently started a new business making statues of religious figures.
I've yet to make a prophet.

Re: Today's joke...

By smiller29 - 21-04-2017 02:57

[BotP]

getting better. both dowopado & frankzappa's jokes made me laugh - well, smile and snicker anyway.getting better. both dowopado & frankzappa's jokes made me laugh - well, smile and snicker anyway.

Re: Today's joke...

By smiller29 - 21-04-2017 03:00

[BotP]

Why was the snowman smiling? He saw the snowblower coming. Oh, that's probably inappropriate [:S]Why was the snowman smiling?

He saw the snowblower coming.

Oh, that's probably inappropriate :S

Re: Today's joke...

By bestplaymaker2134 - 21-04-2017 03:31

[AUSNZ]

Well both dowopado and frankzappa's jokes aren't original. 0 points

smiller29 wrote:

getting better. both dowopado & frankzappa's jokes made me laugh - well, smile and snicker anyway.

Well both dowopado and frankzappa's jokes aren't original.

0 points

Re: Today's joke...

By dowopado - 21-04-2017 21:30

[BotP]

Where do kangaroos go? To The Hop...do-wop-a-do, do-wo do-wo...do-wop-aaaaa-doooooo.Where do kangaroos go?

To The Hop...do-wop-a-do, do-wo do-wo...do-wop-aaaaa-doooooo.

Re: Today's joke...

By frankzappa - 21-04-2017 22:19

[KERNOW]
President

I am absolutely obsessed about buying vinyl records, in fact I have every Beatles record ever made apart from one. I think I need Help.I am absolutely obsessed about buying vinyl records, in fact I have every Beatles record ever made apart from one.
I think I need Help.

Re: Today's joke...

By darkline - 22-04-2017 00:14

[FLUSA]
President

This is my reaction to this jokes.... [img]http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/jimmy.gif[/img]This is my reaction to this jokes....

Re: Today's joke...

By theloyalone - 22-04-2017 15:08

here's another one [;)] but it's a story-cum-joke, unlike all of yours' one liners [:P] so, here we go - once an indian and albert einstein were on a long distance flight. getting bored, einstein decided to pull the innocent looking indian's leg. he said, 'hey ! lets play a game. we'll ask each other questions. if i fail to answer, i'll give you 500 dollars. if you fail to answer my question, you can give me only 5 [:D]' . the indian, not knowing the true identity of his fellow passenger, decided to go along with his proposal. as time passed by,and the money in his wallet started to decrease, the indian realized that his fellow passenger was no 'normal' passenger. when it was his turn to ask the question again,he thought and thought and thought....and then he said, 'ok, answer this now. what goes up the hill with 3 legs and comes down with 4 ?'. for a second, einstein looked perplexed. but he quickly got himself together and started thinking. a lot of time passed by, but einstein wasnt even anywhere close to getting an answer. finally, after almost an hour of rigorous thinking, he grudgingly handed over 500 dollars to the indian and said, 'ughhh...here is your money. now tell me the damn answer!'. to this, the indian took out another 5 dollar note from his wallet and handed it over to him. Moral of the story - NEVER EVER mess with indians, especially when its regarding monetary matters [;)] [H] #RealLifeFactshere's another one ;) but it's a story-cum-joke, unlike all of yours' one liners :P

so, here we go - once an indian and albert einstein were on a long distance flight. getting bored, einstein decided to pull the innocent looking indian's leg. he said, 'hey ! lets play a game. we'll ask each other questions. if i fail to answer, i'll give you 500 dollars. if you fail to answer my question, you can give me only 5 :D' . the indian, not knowing the true identity of his fellow passenger, decided to go along with his proposal. as time passed by,and the money in his wallet started to decrease, the indian realized that his fellow passenger was no 'normal' passenger. when it was his turn to ask the question again,he thought and thought and thought....and then he said, 'ok, answer this now. what goes up the hill with 3 legs and comes down with 4 ?'. for a second, einstein looked perplexed. but he quickly got himself together and started thinking. a lot of time passed by, but einstein wasnt even anywhere close to getting an answer. finally, after almost an hour of rigorous thinking, he grudgingly handed over 500 dollars to the indian and said, 'ughhh...here is your money. now tell me the damn answer!'. to this, the indian took out another 5 dollar note from his wallet and handed it over to him.

Moral of the story - NEVER EVER mess with indians, especially when its regarding monetary matters ;) H

#RealLifeFacts

Re: Today's joke...

By theloyalone - 22-04-2017 15:10

and no aemi, the answer sure as hell wasnt 'a kangaroo', so better not say that [:S]and no aemi, the answer sure as hell wasnt 'a kangaroo', so better not say that :S

Re: Today's joke...

By theloyalone - 22-04-2017 15:10

isnt*isnt*

Re: Today's joke...

By bestplaymaker2134 - 22-04-2017 16:20

[AUSNZ]

How much bloody free time do you have? Every post of yours is a 10,000 word thesis, except without the academic value.

theloyalone wrote:

here's another one but it's a story-cum-joke, unlike all of yours' one liners

so, here we go - once an indian and albert einstein were on a long distance flight. getting bored, einstein decided to pull the innocent looking indian's leg. he said, 'hey ! lets play a game. we'll ask each other questions. if i fail to answer, i'll give you 500 dollars. if you fail to answer my question, you can give me only 5 ' . the indian, not knowing the true identity of his fellow passenger, decided to go along with his proposal. as time passed by,and the money in his wallet started to decrease, the indian realized that his fellow passenger was no 'normal' passenger. when it was his turn to ask the question again,he thought and thought and thought....and then he said, 'ok, answer this now. what goes up the hill with 3 legs and comes down with 4 ?'. for a second, einstein looked perplexed. but he quickly got himself together and started thinking. a lot of time passed by, but einstein wasnt even anywhere close to getting an answer. finally, after almost an hour of rigorous thinking, he grudgingly handed over 500 dollars to the indian and said, 'ughhh...here is your money. now tell me the damn answer!'. to this, the indian took out another 5 dollar note from his wallet and handed it over to him.

Moral of the story - NEVER EVER mess with indians, especially when its regarding monetary matters

#RealLifeFacts

How much bloody free time do you have? Every post of yours is a 10,000 word thesis, except without the academic value.

Re: Today's joke...

By theloyalone - 22-04-2017 17:42

that wasnt a bad joke either [:S]

bestplaymaker2134 wrote:

How much bloody free time do you have? Every post of yours is a 10,000 word thesis, except without the academic value.

that wasnt a bad joke either :S

Re: Today's joke...

By theloyalone - 22-04-2017 17:42

this part, to be more precise

bestplaymaker2134 wrote:

Every post of yours is a 10,000 word thesis, except without the academic value.

this part, to be more precise

Re: Today's joke...

By theloyalone - 22-04-2017 17:45

people like my dear friend here should be given counselling on how to appreciate the joke (content) rather than the number of words [:S][:P][;)]

bestplaymaker2134 wrote:

How much bloody free time do you have? Every post of yours is a 10,000 word thesis, except without the academic value.

people like my dear friend here should be given counselling on how to appreciate the joke (content) rather than the number of words :S:P;)

Re: Today's joke...

By frankzappa - 22-04-2017 20:31

[KERNOW]
President

My wife asked for some peace and quiet while she was cooking dinner... So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarmMy wife asked for some peace and quiet while she was cooking dinner...
So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm

Re: Today's joke...

By darkline - 22-04-2017 23:33

[FLUSA]
President

What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay? The League of Extraordinary Con Men.What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.

Re: Today's joke...

By aemi - 24-04-2017 15:39

[Canada]

[img]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/c6/2d/66/c62d66733e716b8fb04125a5820563ea.jpg[/img] Hi George!

Hi George!

Re: Today's joke...

By frankzappa - 24-04-2017 15:59

[KERNOW]
President

I've got a job as part of a human chess board. I'm on knights this week.I've got a job as part of a human chess board.
I'm on knights this week.

Re: Today's joke...

By dowopado - 24-04-2017 17:56

[BotP]

Why do kangaroos have pouches? To transport aemi. #HoptoServeWhy do kangaroos have pouches?
To transport aemi.

#HoptoServe

Re: Today's joke...

By aemi - 24-04-2017 23:07

[Canada]

Haha

dowopado wrote:

Why do kangaroos have pouches?
To transport aemi.

#HoptoServe

Haha

Re: Today's joke...

By darkline - 25-04-2017 15:37

[FLUSA]
President

A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, "I want to be President one day." Trump says, "Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?" The kid replies, "You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements."A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, "I want to be President one day."

Trump says, "Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?"

The kid replies, "You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements."

Re: Today's joke...

By dowopado - 25-04-2017 21:12

[BotP]

LOL. How true.

darkline wrote:

A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, "I want to be President one day."

Trump says, "Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?"

The kid replies, "You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements."

LOL. How true.

Re: Today's joke...

By aemi - 27-04-2017 11:53

[Canada]

"Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a daughter named Charlotte this weekend. Hillary Clinton was really excited until she remembered that you have to be 18 to vote." –Seth Meyers"Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a daughter named Charlotte this weekend. Hillary Clinton was really excited until she remembered that you have to be 18 to vote." –Seth Meyers

Re: Today's joke...

By darkline - 27-04-2017 14:04

[FLUSA]
President

What does the Secret Service say when Donald Trump gets shot at? Donald! Duck!What does the Secret Service say when Donald Trump gets shot at?

Donald! Duck!

Re: Today's joke...

By darkline - 27-04-2017 14:04

[FLUSA]
President

What happens when Donald Trump takes Viagra? He grows taller.What happens when Donald Trump takes Viagra?

He grows taller.

Re: Today's joke...

By tree_amigos - 27-05-2017 00:54

[MZUSA]
President

Today I lost my mood ring. I'm not sure how I feel about it. [:D]Today I lost my mood ring.


I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Re: Today's joke...

By yahmum - 27-05-2017 08:03

[AUSNZ]

today's joke should be the activeness of these forums :(today's joke should be the activeness of these forums :(

Re: Today's joke...

By tree_amigos - 28-05-2017 15:59

[MZUSA]
President

Two men walked into a bar... ...the third ducked. [:)]Two men walked into a bar...


...the third ducked.

Re: Today's joke...

By tree_amigos - 29-05-2017 16:25

[MZUSA]
President

It's true what they say, money talks. Mine mostly says "Bye".It's true what they say, money talks.

Mine mostly says "Bye".

Re: Today's joke...

By theloyalone - 06-06-2017 09:58

James Bond once meets a hot young woman. *Their conversation* James Bond : My watch tells me you're not a virgin. Young woman : Your watch's wrong. I am a virgin. James Bond : My watch's 20 minutes fast. [;)]James Bond once meets a hot young woman.
*Their conversation*

James Bond : My watch tells me you're not a virgin.
Young woman : Your watch's wrong. I am a virgin.
James Bond : My watch's 20 minutes fast.

;)

Re: Today's joke...

By grinner - 06-06-2017 10:44

[AUSNZ]

I know a guy who is addicted to Brake fluid...He says he can stop anytime though.I know a guy who is addicted to Brake fluid...He says he can stop anytime though.

Re: Today's joke...

By tree_amigos - 06-06-2017 13:02

[MZUSA]
President

Teacher: What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? Student: I don't know and I don't care.Teacher: What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

Student: I don't know and I don't care.

Re: Today's joke...

By dowopado - 06-06-2017 18:05

[BotP]

[:P][:P][:P][:P][:P]:P:P:P:P:P

Sv: Today's joke...

By supreme_harijan - 10-06-2017 16:09

[DMZSWE]

Saddam Hussein to Bush: Wheres my oil? Bush replies: There is no spoon /SupremeSaddam Hussein to Bush:
Wheres my oil?
Bush replies:
There is no spoon

/Supreme

Re: Today's joke...

By aemi - 12-06-2017 09:01

[Canada]

pigs can fly: [img]http://beijingboyce.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/flying-kangaroo-bar-dan-duggan-beijing-1-678x381.jpg[/img] Sorry, I meant kangaroos.pigs can fly:



Sorry, I meant kangaroos.

 

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