Incorrect username or password

 
28-03-2024 21:09
|
Season 89 · Week 13 · Day 87
|
Online: 4 647

Football

Football » English » Open Discussion

Today's joke...

Badge image
... is tomorrow's word of wisdom. Here is my collection of jokes.

Q: What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
A: Gross
Views: 5148 Posts: 169
Previous
Page 1 2 3 4
Next
Reply
Last Message

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Q: Where do sharks go on their holidays?
A: Sweden

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
:P:P:P

The American language never ceases to amaze me.

I think Crew should create a new Forum called American.

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
NPR tweets the Declaration of Independence, and people freak out about a ‘revolution'

http://amp.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article159682299.html


This world is becoming more strange every day...what's next? Short passing dominating wings play ???

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Badge image
[FLUSA]
President
aldebaran wrote:
NPR tweets the Declaration of Independence, and people freak out about a ‘revolution'

http://amp.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article159682299.html


Well, those tweets are a good representation of the average Trump voter.

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
I would say it's that of the average populist voter

you can find similar tweets in Greece and I bet in other countries too

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
What did Darth Vader say when he came to Gothenburgh?

Jedaj nu.

:D:D:D

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Badge image
[ᴀғяιcᴀ]
President
aldebaran wrote:
I would say it's that of the average populist voter

you can find similar tweets in Greece and I bet in other countries too


Yes

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
my wife wanted a cat. I didnt want a cat.

Now I have cat:

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Yo momma so fat when she registered for MySpace there was no space left.

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Q: What computer sings the best?
A: A Dell.

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Badge image
[FLUSA]
President








Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
NO COMMENT:

http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/spains-fm-calls-catalan-referendum-mockery-democracy-50200610

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image

Uuesti: Today's joke...

Badge image
no

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5670533/Football-fan-banned-stadium-rents-crane-watch-team-air.html

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
another one (and it happened today, so it perfectly 'qualifies' for this topic too lol) -

https://www.managerzone.com/?p=match&sub=result&mid=994730589

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Last night AikAik came to my team's Portage Bigly Bar.

I asked him if he knew Lausatök, the Swedish mixed Martial Arts or some other aggresive form of fighting.

He said, “Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I’m crew and Swedish?!”

“No it’s because you’re drinking my maple syrup!“

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Q:How do we know Adam was a Canadian?
A:who else would stand next to a naked woman and be tempted by a fruit.:O

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
A gas station in Halifax was trying to increase it's sales. So the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex With Fill-Up." Soon a Canadian pulls in, fills his tank, and then asks for his free sex. The gas attendent tells him pick to a number from 1 to 10 if he guesses correctly, he will get his free sex. The Canadian says, "7" The gas attendent says, "You were close, sir, but the number was 6. Sorry, no sex this time." A week later, the same Canadian, along with his buddy, pulls in for a fill up. Again he asks for his free sex and again the gas attendent gives him the same story and asks him to guess the correct number. The Canadian says, "5" The gas attendent says, "Sorry,it was 4. You were so close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, the Canadian says to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex." The buddy replies,"No, it ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week.

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
aurelrabei wrote:
Yo momma so fat when she registered for MySpace there was no space left.


Your mum's so dumb, she failed a survey.

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
How many English does it take to screw in a lightbulb in a room? None, they just complain and go Rooxit.

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
What did the Brith say to the Scotish?

Fancy an exit?

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
According to Daily Mail, a British guy was jailed 15 years for calling Theresa May a fathead. One year for insulting the fathead and 14 years for revealing a state secret.

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Badge image
[FLUSA]
President
A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders is about to crash, but it has only 3 parachutes. Jeb Bush yells, “I’m part of a Republican Legacy, I can’t die,” takes the first parachute, and jumps. Donald Trump yells, “I’m the President and the smartest man in the world,” grabs the second parachute, and jumps. Hillary asks Bernie, “Now, how are we going to decide fairly who gets the last parachute?”
Bernie smiles. “Don’t worry, there are parachutes for both of us. The world’s smartest man just took my backpack.

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
darkline wrote:
A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders is about to crash, but it has only 3 parachutes. Jeb Bush yells, “I’m part of a Republican Legacy, I can’t die,” takes the first parachute, and jumps. Donald Trump yells, “I’m the President and the smartest man in the world,” grabs the second parachute, and jumps. Hillary asks Bernie, “Now, how are we going to decide fairly who gets the last parachute?”
Bernie smiles. “Don’t worry, there are parachutes for both of us. The world’s smartest man just took my backpack.


I thought the ending would be something like –

and even before poor ‘super low-energy’ (haven’t forgotten, have ya ? :P) Bernie could muster up enough energy to answer, Hillary took off with the last remaining parachute...

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Did you hear the joke about when aemi won the CSL?
No me neither.:P

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Our team manager aemi won't stand for any nonsense. Last game he caught a couple of fans climbing over the soccer field fence.
He was furious. He grabbed them by the collars and said,
"Now you just get back in there and watch the game till it finishes."

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Newsflash:
Thieves broke into the home of Portage Head Coach aemi and stole two prized books. "The thing that upsets me", he said "is that I hadn't finished colouring them in yet!"

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
oh my uncooldaddy321, those are officialy my fav, I am def saving them for later...

you have made my day! Thank you!

Enjoy your tea!

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Why is aemis football team like an old bra?
Because it has no cups and very little support.:P

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
How many Portage supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Both of them.

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Why did SuperDad got fired?
He slept on the job.
What did he do?
He was a firefighter.

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
What's worse than an angry dad?
A super angry dad.

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
What’s the difference between Portage (aemi’s team)and a teabag?
The teabag stays in the cup longer.

Re: Today's joke...

Badge image
Why do the Portage players plant potatoes outside their stadium?
So they have something to lift in the summer.:D
Previous
Page 1 2 3 4
Next