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25-06-2022 07:21
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Season 82 · Week 12 · Day 82
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Football

Football » English » Open Discussion

Today's joke...

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... is tomorrow's word of wisdom. Here is my collection of jokes.

Q: What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
A: Gross
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Q: Where do sharks go on their holidays?
A: Sweden

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:P:P:P

The American language never ceases to amaze me.

I think Crew should create a new Forum called American.

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NPR tweets the Declaration of Independence, and people freak out about a ‘revolution'

http://amp.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article159682299.html


This world is becoming more strange every day...what's next? Short passing dominating wings play ???

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[FLUSA]
President
aldebaran wrote:
NPR tweets the Declaration of Independence, and people freak out about a ‘revolution'

http://amp.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article159682299.html


Well, those tweets are a good representation of the average Trump voter.

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I would say it's that of the average populist voter

you can find similar tweets in Greece and I bet in other countries too

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[POW]
President
What did Darth Vader say when he came to Gothenburgh?

Jedaj nu.

:D:D:D

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[ᴀғяιcᴀ]
President
aldebaran wrote:
I would say it's that of the average populist voter

you can find similar tweets in Greece and I bet in other countries too


Yes

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[Eesti]
President
my wife wanted a cat. I didnt want a cat.

Now I have cat:

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Yo momma so fat when she registered for MySpace there was no space left.

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Q: What computer sings the best?
A: A Dell.

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[FLUSA]
President








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[Eesti]
President
NO COMMENT:

http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/spains-fm-calls-catalan-referendum-mockery-democracy-50200610

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[Eesti]
President

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Uuesti: Today's joke...

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no

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[Eesti]
President
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5670533/Football-fan-banned-stadium-rents-crane-watch-team-air.html

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another one (and it happened today, so it perfectly 'qualifies' for this topic too lol) -

https://www.managerzone.com/?p=match&sub=result&mid=994730589

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Last night AikAik came to my team's Portage Bigly Bar.

I asked him if he knew Lausatök, the Swedish mixed Martial Arts or some other aggresive form of fighting.

He said, “Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I’m crew and Swedish?!”

“No it’s because you’re drinking my maple syrup!“

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Q:How do we know Adam was a Canadian?
A:who else would stand next to a naked woman and be tempted by a fruit.:O

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A gas station in Halifax was trying to increase it's sales. So the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex With Fill-Up." Soon a Canadian pulls in, fills his tank, and then asks for his free sex. The gas attendent tells him pick to a number from 1 to 10 if he guesses correctly, he will get his free sex. The Canadian says, "7" The gas attendent says, "You were close, sir, but the number was 6. Sorry, no sex this time." A week later, the same Canadian, along with his buddy, pulls in for a fill up. Again he asks for his free sex and again the gas attendent gives him the same story and asks him to guess the correct number. The Canadian says, "5" The gas attendent says, "Sorry,it was 4. You were so close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, the Canadian says to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex." The buddy replies,"No, it ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week.

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aurelrabei wrote:
Yo momma so fat when she registered for MySpace there was no space left.


Your mum's so dumb, she failed a survey.

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How many English does it take to screw in a lightbulb in a room? None, they just complain and go Rooxit.

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What did the Brith say to the Scotish?

Fancy an exit?

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According to Daily Mail, a British guy was jailed 15 years for calling Theresa May a fathead. One year for insulting the fathead and 14 years for revealing a state secret.

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[FLUSA]
President
A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders is about to crash, but it has only 3 parachutes. Jeb Bush yells, “I’m part of a Republican Legacy, I can’t die,” takes the first parachute, and jumps. Donald Trump yells, “I’m the President and the smartest man in the world,” grabs the second parachute, and jumps. Hillary asks Bernie, “Now, how are we going to decide fairly who gets the last parachute?”
Bernie smiles. “Don’t worry, there are parachutes for both of us. The world’s smartest man just took my backpack.

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darkline wrote:
A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders is about to crash, but it has only 3 parachutes. Jeb Bush yells, “I’m part of a Republican Legacy, I can’t die,” takes the first parachute, and jumps. Donald Trump yells, “I’m the President and the smartest man in the world,” grabs the second parachute, and jumps. Hillary asks Bernie, “Now, how are we going to decide fairly who gets the last parachute?”
Bernie smiles. “Don’t worry, there are parachutes for both of us. The world’s smartest man just took my backpack.


I thought the ending would be something like –

and even before poor ‘super low-energy’ (haven’t forgotten, have ya ? :P) Bernie could muster up enough energy to answer, Hillary took off with the last remaining parachute...

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Did you hear the joke about when aemi won the CSL?
No me neither.:P

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Our team manager aemi won't stand for any nonsense. Last game he caught a couple of fans climbing over the soccer field fence.
He was furious. He grabbed them by the collars and said,
"Now you just get back in there and watch the game till it finishes."

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Newsflash:
Thieves broke into the home of Portage Head Coach aemi and stole two prized books. "The thing that upsets me", he said "is that I hadn't finished colouring them in yet!"

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oh my uncooldaddy321, those are officialy my fav, I am def saving them for later...

you have made my day! Thank you!

Enjoy your tea!

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Why is aemis football team like an old bra?
Because it has no cups and very little support.:P

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How many Portage supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Both of them.

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Why did SuperDad got fired?
He slept on the job.
What did he do?
He was a firefighter.

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What's worse than an angry dad?
A super angry dad.

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What’s the difference between Portage (aemi’s team)and a teabag?
The teabag stays in the cup longer.

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Why do the Portage players plant potatoes outside their stadium?
So they have something to lift in the summer.:D
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