... is tomorrow's word of wisdom. Here is my collection of jokes.
Q: What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
A: Gross
Football
Football » English » Open Discussion
Views: 5148 Posts: 169
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Re: Today's joke...
By dowopado - 16-06-2017 06:03
:P:P:P
The American language never ceases to amaze me.
I think Crew should create a new Forum called American.
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Re: Today's joke...
By aldebaran - 06-07-2017 23:34
NPR tweets the Declaration of Independence, and people freak out about a ‘revolution'
http://amp.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article159682299.html
This world is becoming more strange every day...what's next? Short passing dominating wings play ???
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Re: Today's joke...
By darkline - 07-07-2017 00:15
aldebaran wrote:NPR tweets the Declaration of Independence, and people freak out about a ‘revolution'
http://amp.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/article159682299.html
Well, those tweets are a good representation of the average Trump voter.
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Re: Today's joke...
By aldebaran - 07-07-2017 08:56
I would say it's that of the average populist voter
you can find similar tweets in Greece and I bet in other countries too
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Re: Today's joke...
By powdersnow (Crew) - 07-07-2017 09:26
What did Darth Vader say when he came to Gothenburgh?
Jedaj nu.
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Re: Today's joke...
By azkaban-za - 07-07-2017 17:57
aldebaran wrote:I would say it's that of the average populist voter
you can find similar tweets in Greece and I bet in other countries too
Yes
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Re: Today's joke...
By evosa (NC) - 19-09-2017 21:41
my wife wanted a cat. I didnt want a cat.
Now I have cat:
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Re: Today's joke...
By aurelrabei - 20-09-2017 15:37
Yo momma so fat when she registered for MySpace there was no space left.
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Re: Today's joke...
By evosa (NC) - 01-10-2017 15:59
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Re: Today's joke...
By theloyalone - 29-04-2018 21:04
another one (and it happened today, so it perfectly 'qualifies' for this topic too lol) -
https://www.managerzone.com/?p=match&sub=result&mid=994730589
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Re: Today's joke...
By aemi - 07-09-2018 04:04
Last night AikAik came to my team's Portage Bigly Bar.
I asked him if he knew Lausatök, the Swedish mixed Martial Arts or some other aggresive form of fighting.
He said, “Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I’m crew and Swedish?!”
“No it’s because you’re drinking my maple syrup!“
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Re: Today's joke...
By superdad123 - 16-09-2018 00:27
Q:How do we know Adam was a Canadian?
A:who else would stand next to a naked woman and be tempted by a fruit.
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Re: Today's joke...
By superdad123 - 16-09-2018 00:33
A gas station in Halifax was trying to increase it's sales. So the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex With Fill-Up." Soon a Canadian pulls in, fills his tank, and then asks for his free sex. The gas attendent tells him pick to a number from 1 to 10 if he guesses correctly, he will get his free sex. The Canadian says, "7" The gas attendent says, "You were close, sir, but the number was 6. Sorry, no sex this time." A week later, the same Canadian, along with his buddy, pulls in for a fill up. Again he asks for his free sex and again the gas attendent gives him the same story and asks him to guess the correct number. The Canadian says, "5" The gas attendent says, "Sorry,it was 4. You were so close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, the Canadian says to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex." The buddy replies,"No, it ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week.
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Re: Today's joke...
By ashleyhughes - 17-09-2018 18:26
aurelrabei wrote:Yo momma so fat when she registered for MySpace there was no space left.
Your mum's so dumb, she failed a survey.
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Re: Today's joke...
By aemi - 19-09-2018 07:48
How many English does it take to screw in a lightbulb in a room? None, they just complain and go Rooxit.
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Re: Today's joke...
By aemi - 20-09-2018 04:54
What did the Brith say to the Scotish?
Fancy an exit?
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Re: Today's joke...
By aemi - 21-09-2018 03:30
According to Daily Mail, a British guy was jailed 15 years for calling Theresa May a fathead. One year for insulting the fathead and 14 years for revealing a state secret.
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Re: Today's joke...
By darkline - 21-09-2018 11:31
A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders is about to crash, but it has only 3 parachutes. Jeb Bush yells, “I’m part of a Republican Legacy, I can’t die,” takes the first parachute, and jumps. Donald Trump yells, “I’m the President and the smartest man in the world,” grabs the second parachute, and jumps. Hillary asks Bernie, “Now, how are we going to decide fairly who gets the last parachute?”
Bernie smiles. “Don’t worry, there are parachutes for both of us. The world’s smartest man just took my backpack.
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Re: Today's joke...
By theloyalone - 21-09-2018 17:40
darkline wrote:A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders is about to crash, but it has only 3 parachutes. Jeb Bush yells, “I’m part of a Republican Legacy, I can’t die,” takes the first parachute, and jumps. Donald Trump yells, “I’m the President and the smartest man in the world,” grabs the second parachute, and jumps. Hillary asks Bernie, “Now, how are we going to decide fairly who gets the last parachute?”
Bernie smiles. “Don’t worry, there are parachutes for both of us. The world’s smartest man just took my backpack.
I thought the ending would be something like –
and even before poor ‘super low-energy’ (haven’t forgotten, have ya ? :P) Bernie could muster up enough energy to answer, Hillary took off with the last remaining parachute...
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Re: Today's joke...
By superdad123 - 22-09-2018 01:11
Did you hear the joke about when aemi won the CSL?
No me neither.
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Re: Today's joke...
By superdad123 - 22-09-2018 01:16
Our team manager aemi won't stand for any nonsense. Last game he caught a couple of fans climbing over the soccer field fence.
He was furious. He grabbed them by the collars and said,
"Now you just get back in there and watch the game till it finishes."
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Re: Today's joke...
By superdad123 - 22-09-2018 01:22
Newsflash:
Thieves broke into the home of Portage Head Coach aemi and stole two prized books. "The thing that upsets me", he said "is that I hadn't finished colouring them in yet!"
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Re: Today's joke...
By aemi - 23-09-2018 02:03
oh my uncooldaddy321, those are officialy my fav, I am def saving them for later...
you have made my day! Thank you!
Enjoy your tea!
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Re: Today's joke...
By superdad123 - 24-09-2018 21:42
Why is aemis football team like an old bra?
Because it has no cups and very little support.
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Re: Today's joke...
By superdad123 - 24-09-2018 22:02
How many Portage supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Both of them.
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Re: Today's joke...
By aemi - 26-09-2018 03:19
Why did SuperDad got fired?
He slept on the job.
What did he do?
He was a firefighter.
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Re: Today's joke...
By superdad123 - 28-09-2018 13:08
What’s the difference between Portage (aemi’s team)and a teabag?
The teabag stays in the cup longer.
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Re: Today's joke...
By superdad123 - 28-09-2018 13:19
Why do the Portage players plant potatoes outside their stadium?
So they have something to lift in the summer.
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