Football » English » Open Discussion

Your Mum Jokes

By navai - 10-09-2013 22:27

Alright,i'm bored and want to be entertained.. the rules are simple!.. [b]NO DIRTY JOKES[/b] [b]NO EXPLICIT JOKES[/b] [b]KEEP IT CLEAN KEEP IT FUNNY[/b] ...i'll Start... Your mum is so hairy she braids the hair on her knuckles...Alright,i'm bored and want to be entertained..

the rules are simple!..

NO DIRTY JOKES
NO EXPLICIT JOKES
KEEP IT CLEAN KEEP IT FUNNY

...i'll Start...

Your mum is so hairy she braids the hair on her knuckles...

 

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Re: Your Mum Jokes

By frankzappa - 10-09-2013 22:48

[KERNOW]
President

My Mum never jokes.My Mum never jokes.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By bestplaymaker2134 - 11-09-2013 07:17

[AUSNZ]

Good one.

frankzappa wrote:

My Mum never jokes.

Good one.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By navai - 11-09-2013 12:42

dearly beloved, we are gathered here to mourn the passing of the MZ forums, these things used to be buzzing back in the day,but now one gets one maybe two interesting threads a month.. a sad time, a sad sad time indeed.dearly beloved, we are gathered here to mourn the passing of the MZ forums, these things used to be buzzing back in the day,but now one gets one maybe two interesting threads a month..

a sad time, a sad sad time indeed.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By frankzappa - 11-09-2013 13:22

[KERNOW]
President

...and this thread was supposed to help?...and this thread was supposed to help?

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By navai - 11-09-2013 14:05

you got any better suggestions?..you got any better suggestions?..

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By grinner - 11-09-2013 14:54

[AUSNZ]

She had you Frank, so i beg to differ. :p

frankzappa wrote:

My Mum never jokes.

She had you Frank, so i beg to differ. :p

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By frankzappa - 11-09-2013 15:00

[KERNOW]
President

Had me? No one had me. She found me. I was washed up on a beach in West Cornwall. She wanted to call me Maurice, but that was taken.Had me? No one had me. She found me. I was washed up on a beach in West Cornwall.
She wanted to call me Maurice, but that was taken.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By grinner - 11-09-2013 15:08

[AUSNZ]

a bit like your sanity i suspecta bit like your sanity i suspect

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By matttombstone - 11-09-2013 20:21

[BotP]

Not his virginity though... But to get it back. Your mums so fat she has her own gravitational pull.Not his virginity though...

But to get it back. Your mums so fat she has her own gravitational pull.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By belaware - 11-09-2013 22:25

[BVB]
President

Hey, your mummy has extremely sagging breasts, in a smimming-pool she looks like an octopus.Hey, your mummy has extremely sagging breasts, in a smimming-pool she looks like an octopus.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By frankzappa - 11-09-2013 23:10

[KERNOW]
President

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAy4zULKFDUhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAy4zULKFDU

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By ashleyhughes - 12-09-2013 02:16

[LEGEND]

Your Mum's so dumb she failed a survey.Your Mum's so dumb she failed a survey.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By j_sar - 12-09-2013 04:01

Your Mum is a nice lady.Your Mum is a nice lady.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By bestplaymaker2134 - 12-09-2013 07:38

[AUSNZ]

Your mom is beautiful.Your mom is beautiful.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By jamiescfc2010 - 12-09-2013 12:09

[World]

Your mom stares at orange juice saying to "concentrate" Your mom studied for a blood testYour mom stares at orange juice saying to "concentrate"

Your mom studied for a blood test

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By matttombstone - 12-09-2013 19:06

[BotP]

Jamie's mum showed him the Toyota advert... and she's apparently American...Jamie's mum showed him the Toyota advert... and she's apparently American...

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By ashleyhughes - 12-09-2013 19:06

[LEGEND]

Chances are this has been stolen from a car advert...

jamiescfc2010 wrote:

Your mom stares at orange juice saying to "concentrate"

Your mom studied for a blood test

Chances are this has been stolen from a car advert...

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By matttombstone - 12-09-2013 19:21

[BotP]

Lol, great minds Mr Hughes, great minds.Lol, great minds Mr Hughes, great minds.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By bestplaymaker2134 - 16-09-2013 13:26

[AUSNZ]

Your mom so spoilt she wanted me.Your mom so spoilt she wanted me.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By rockstarroberts - 16-09-2013 15:35

your mom believes I'll make it to the MLS in four seasonsyour mom believes I'll make it to the MLS in four seasons

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By navai - 16-09-2013 19:53

OoooOoo rsr you DO know how to keep a grudge don't you? :POoooOoo rsr you DO know how to keep a grudge don't you? :P

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By navai - 16-09-2013 19:54

Your mum and I will be spending the 250,000 GBP when you fail badly to achieve your "goals" and have to pay me (I'm assuming you are an honourable man and intend to keep your side of the bet)Your mum and I will be spending the 250,000 GBP when you fail badly to achieve your "goals" and have to pay me (I'm assuming you are an honourable man and intend to keep your side of the bet)

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By rockstarroberts - 16-09-2013 20:41

no grudge navai., and I willno grudge navai., and I will

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By grinner - 17-09-2013 00:06

[AUSNZ]

obviously...obviously...

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By heddo - 17-09-2013 03:40

I hired your mum as a cleaning lady at Hythe FC , but i had to fire her , all of the players were suddenly deteriorating in shooting and stamina....I hired your mum as a cleaning lady at Hythe FC , but i had to fire her , all of the players were suddenly deteriorating in shooting and stamina....

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By heddo - 17-09-2013 03:47

your mum came to watch a youth match at Hythe FC , three of the boys asked to be substituted , two of the subs asked to be excused , and there was a mysterious empty mini bus with the engine running..your mum came to watch a youth match at Hythe FC , three of the boys asked to be substituted , two of the subs asked to be excused , and there was a mysterious empty mini bus with the engine running..

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By heddo - 17-09-2013 04:01

I told your mum that the FA were bringing in a three foreign players only rule at Hythe FC , she burst out crying , I dont have the foggiest why she done that ..I told your mum that the FA were bringing in a three foreign players only rule at Hythe FC , she burst out crying , I dont have the foggiest why she done that ..

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By deleted_5240478 - 17-09-2013 19:11

Your mama is so fat, when she fell down the stairs your father thought Eastenders was starting. Duded a du da daYour mama is so fat, when she fell down the stairs your father thought Eastenders was starting.

Duded a du da da

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By matttombstone - 18-09-2013 19:34

[BotP]

Your momma's so fat... Period!Your momma's so fat... Period!

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By navai - 20-09-2013 11:18

Your mum is so old she sat behind Jesus in schoolYour mum is so old she sat behind Jesus in school

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By grinner - 20-09-2013 13:22

[AUSNZ]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYf2Dh71RgYhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYf2Dh71RgY

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By bestplaymaker2134 - 25-09-2013 01:44

[AUSNZ]

i love your mom and i cannot lie my inner feelings cant deny the way she walks with that itty bitty waist my christmas tree trunk on her face I GET SRPUNGED! I would do things to your mom that I wouldnt do to your sister.i love your mom and i cannot lie
my inner feelings cant deny
the way she walks with that itty bitty waist
my christmas tree trunk on her face
I GET SRPUNGED!

I would do things to your mom that I wouldnt do to your sister.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By matttombstone - 25-09-2013 20:59

[BotP]

Your mum is so silly I slapped her in the face with free willy.Your mum is so silly I slapped her in the face with free willy.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By bestplaymaker2134 - 22-10-2013 09:42

[AUSNZ]

Lets get this back up. ;) Tell your mom the moneys under the pillow, i gave her a bit extra cos she deserves it. Oh yea also tell her im sorry i broke her toothbrush, i know it meant more than just a toothbrush to her.Lets get this back up. ;)

Tell your mom the moneys under the pillow, i gave her a bit extra cos she deserves it. Oh yea also tell her im sorry i broke her toothbrush, i know it meant more than just a toothbrush to her.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By soplamocos - 13-11-2013 21:47

Your mum is so dumb that she was hitted by a parked car. Your mum is so ugly that when she born your grandma says "what a lovely treasure!" and you grandpa says "yes, lets bury it!"Your mum is so dumb that she was hitted by a parked car.

Your mum is so ugly that when she born your grandma says "what a lovely treasure!" and you grandpa says "yes, lets bury it!"

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By kyleriese - 13-11-2013 22:14

[MLS]
President

Your "mum" is so fat that she left the house in high heels, but came back wearing sandals.Your "mum" is so fat that she left the house in high heels, but came back wearing sandals.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By heddo - 27-12-2013 02:07

hi , I have one of your mommas stockings , hanging on the end of my bed, full of goodies she brought back for me for xmas..hi , I have one of your mommas stockings , hanging on the end of my bed, full of goodies she brought back for me for xmas..

Ant: Your Mum Jokes

By kevinskyy - 02-01-2014 20:48

Your mum is cute. Really.Your mum is cute. Really.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By zeoh118 - 02-01-2014 23:22

[ENG]

Your mum is so fat- that she's a map in call of duty Your mum is so fat- that when I kill her in call of duty I get a five point killstreak!Your mum is so fat- that she's a map in call of duty
Your mum is so fat- that when I kill her in call of duty I get a five point killstreak!

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By staafke - 11-01-2014 03:13

Your Mum's glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map, she can see people waving.Your Mum's glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map, she can see people waving.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By davidabbott1 - 13-01-2014 21:04

Your mum is your mum. That's the joke..Your mum is your mum.

That's the joke..

Sv: Your Mum Jokes

By the_cynic - 05-03-2014 18:44

[LEGEND]
President

Your mum is.... hmmm.... is she anything at all? //TCYour mum is.... hmmm.... is she anything at all?

//TC

Sv: Your Mum Jokes

By deleted_7921107 - 08-03-2014 11:39

Your mum is so poor she can´t even pay attention Your mum is so fat when she´s passing the TV i missed a whole programYour mum is so poor she can´t even pay attention
Your mum is so fat when she´s passing the TV i missed a whole program

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By zeoh118 - 08-03-2014 18:46

[ENG]

Your mom is so fat that when she walked past the window I lost 3 days of sunlightYour mom is so fat that when she walked past the window I lost 3 days of sunlight

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By steviedee - 09-03-2014 11:04

[BotP]

your moms so poor she was kicking a can down the street i asked what she was doing she said movingyour moms so poor she was kicking a can down the street i asked what she was doing she said moving

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By zrocker - 24-03-2014 04:56

[Breca]
President

-The other day my mom fell out of a window, she´s in heaven now -That´s serius bouncing mate!-The other day my mom fell out of a window, she´s in heaven now
-That´s serius bouncing mate!

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By bestplaymaker2134 - 25-03-2014 08:46

[AUSNZ]

Did he just make a joke bout his own mum? Your mum is my goalkeeper. Great one too.Did he just make a joke bout his own mum?

Your mum is my goalkeeper. Great one too.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By zeoh118 - 25-03-2014 10:20

[ENG]

LOOOOL I think he never meant itLOOOOL I think he never meant it

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By aemi - 16-11-2016 05:21

[Canada]

Yo mama so hungry she ate an entire kangaroo for dinner. Raw.Yo mama so hungry she ate an entire kangaroo for dinner. Raw.

Re: Your Mum Jokes

By maria171 - 18-11-2016 03:52

[MAS]
President

This thread is an insult to all the mothers out there.This thread is an insult to all the mothers out there.

 

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